Invisible Dichotomy

The world seems so small from up here. These buildings of justice stand with haughty glory, oozing the claim of absolute justice. Humans in each room squabble among themselves. Their puny life. Their puny ideologies. Their tendency towards immorality. Corruption. And their excuses.

I see a fly crawling on glass window. What is it trying to do? I see a bird perching on the stand where the national flag of country flapping gloriously. And the bird flew away. This world is quiet. So quiet. Eternal silence is real when everything is seen from up here. Chaos and forced stability dwell down there.

The rhythm of normalcy was meant to be melodic wave. Humans ruptured that melody with their idiotic notion of stability. We can perhaps deduce it, cut in pieces of ideology with dialectical knife. Who created the idea of vice and virtue? Humans did with conscience. With numerous inventions, man-made societies are going towards destruction. An inevitable destruction. I am also a part of it. One day, apocalypse will come and engulf every one of us without any discrimination.

Now is the moment of rejoice. Can we rejoice? All the time? No! There are rules of society. Even if we claim ourselves renegades, we will still be a small part of society. And when their favourite stability face any danger, they will eventually eliminate every renegade.

That rat-race down there, that meandering snake of cars, that struggle of survival, remind me of my punishment which was silently delivered to me during my birth. My eternal imprisonment. Our eternal imprisonment. However hard we try, we can never get out of it. Death may bring freedom. Perhaps. How would I know? I have not face death so far. I know no one who has come back from death. Death is a beautiful mystery. Most humans are afraid of it. Why? Why death has to be morbid? Can’t it be good? Beautiful?

Life is beautiful as well despite all of its unfathomable agonies. Green trees, blue sky, white clouds or grey sky, dusky clouds, wherever it is, eventually I find peace in every shade of nature, a soothing embrace. When I get out of the circle of race, I can think properly. Can I really get out of that circle? Maybe a part of me still resides down there. Suffocated. Imprisoned.

It is so quiet up here. It is a facade of quietness. A farce of quietness. A hypocritical layer of friendship. Underneath there is frustration. A wish to get out of it. This is perhaps a desert. Everywhere I see ocean of sand, dunes. There is no oasis. No relief. Just sporadic glimpses of mirages. No miracle will come to mollify me. I will be alone. I will die alone. I will live alone. Being alone is the greatest gift I will always have. Perhaps. I don’t know. Is it a gift or is it a curse?

The flag is not waving now. There is no wind blowing outside. Heatwave. Yes, I received a message of heatwave warning on my phone. Do not go outside. Stay inside. Yet I see humans outside, fighting heatwaves, fighting to survive. Sophisticated humans. How stupid!

My body is biological liability that I will have to carry forever. It will give me hunger. I will have to eat. It will give me sense of warmth, cold and I will have to bear. It will force to discharge shit and piss out of my body. I have no choice. When time comes, I will feel every moment of old age, weakness, pain, loss of memory. I am fucked. Nothing is in my control. Nothing. Even my mind. My mind is playing up. I am a slave.