Existence

The complexity of human nature is the most fascinating case to study. In this world, which is still laden with many a question, humans claim to have found all these answers, behaving like a pack of imbeciles. What is the purpose of our existence? That is the question we all ought to seek. Yet, we ask, “How will I look in that green shirt?”

There is a balance which might be often misunderstood as a symphony, or is represented as a beautiful symphony. It makes the process of life easy. A stable system. Humans come to this world as infants, perceive everything. with curiosity and strive to know more and everything. As they grow older, their curiosity gets in check. They go with the flow, doing the work that is expected of them, following the already established rules religiously, utterly influenced by religions. Camus compared this restless and meaningless process with myth of Sisyphus brilliantly.

While reading “Notes from underground”, I felt that I am also a part of this process. Like the unnamed protagonist, no matter how hard I try to get out of this system, I will always be a pawn in this huge game which declares no winner. Or it does declare a winner. A winner is someone who blindly obeys the rule, who vaingloriously strive to achieve a man-made reward, who proclaims himself saviour, who justifies his every action with righteous intentions. Alexander was a winner perhaps. So was Hitler, Stalin, Napoleon. They definitely thought they had won.

Dostoevsky in “Notes from Underground” points out the hypocrisy of human-nature. And greatest deadlock from which we are unable to get out. We can be normal, doing things which are already predefined without asking questions. Getting a job, marrying and having children so that they can follow these meaningless cycle of birth and death after our life ends in this world. While doing this, we commit philosophical suicide (as Camus would have called it). This way of life will be stupid as if we are sheep. What is the alternative? We can make our rules, challenge everyone and everything. If we do that, we will be termed as freaks.

“Notes from underground” highlights this dilemma. The unnamed protagonist’s futile attempt of fitting in to the system. He tried again and again and failed. Unanswered questions were there, are here. Only the concept of God can quench the thirst. Without God, life seems meaningless. What is the better options of these two? Silly meaningful purpose with presence of God or enlightened meaningless (the greatest deadlock) with no God? Somewhere between these two big questions lies the friendly touch of art, I guess.